“Object Permanence” and Other Poems
1. Object Permanence
You are a black hole
because you have been told
you are a black hole.
Every time you come close
to finding your [other] name,
the hungry part of you awakens, devouring
your definition. This deity wanders
through the interstitial marshes
of your body—the parts
choked out by rushweeds—destroying
the [soft] parts. To be [defined]
is to claim object permanence
in the order of things. How do you take
your place among rocks and mountains—
how do you say, i am [alive]
without losing yourself?
You find it through everything
around you. You measure
by what is [missing]. You return to this
burial ground again [and] again,
searching for two-names
and anywhere there is [enough]
space to lay down
your knife.
Sweat that smells like yeast,
the touch of lived-in linen
against a cheek. Rough
hands that press into your arm
like pressing into a mango.
A broken suyod at the sink / or a bottle of efficascent oil.
Lines in a face seen only when close enough
to touch / gray hairs that grow a new crop each season.
A door left open
a crack. When you come home,
a dimming porchlight and a kitchen
filled with the smell of simmering pospas.
The intimacy of a mother with a shape like your own,
a look that says come here, child.
Tina Lentz-McMillan (she/they) is a Filipina/-American/Mestiza poet whose poetry centers on mixed identity. She has an MFA from Queens University of Charlotte and has poetry in Crab Creek Review, River City College MUSE, Oroboro by Death Rattle Literary, Sky Island Journal, and (forthcoming in) Windward Review among others. She lives in the unceded lands of the Tohono O'odham and Pascua Yaqui Tribe, also known as Tucson, Arizona, with her husband and their two dogs, cat, and a bird.
Edited by Briana Gwin.
The header image was created by Natasha Loewy and Owen Takabayashi, featured artists for the On Permanence anthology.